Control Freak

I’ve been called a lot of things including, “Type A,” a “leader,” “organized,” – you get the picture! One thing I’ve never been called is “flexible.” There’s a good reason for that – it’s because I’m not flexible. I really don’t like anything to change my plans or get in the way of what’s already been scheduled. Right now you’re probably thinking one of two things, either “I can relate,” or “Why doesn’t she just chill out?”

If you’re thinking I should chill out, then you’re right! I agree with you. Always being in control hasn’t brought me the happiness and fulfillment I thought it would. Somehow I thought by controlling all aspects of my life, I could insulate myself from the disappointments and challenges that life could bring. However, I am realizing that by trying to run my life, I am really missing out on living life to the fullest.

Currently I am reading through the book of James. The Lord keeps leading me back to chapter 4, verses 13-15. They say, “Now listen, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this city or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.’ Why, you don’t even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, ‘If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.’”

If that’s not convicting for a chronic controller, I don’t know what is! Basically, these verses are saying, “Who do you think you are? Are you so presumptuous that you actually think you have any control over your life? In the scheme of things, your time here on earth is the equivalent to one breath in someone’s entire lifetime. Stop trying to be in charge and get over yourself.” (Gretchyn’s Paraphrase Translation)

It’s silly and laughable when you really think about it. To think that any of us has control over our lives or even our family’s lives is crazy. These verses are a wake-up call to a control freak like me. No wonder God wants me to read them over and over again.

Now comes the interesting part. What does it mean to honestly give up the control that I so dearly love? I know God will reveal the answer to me as I seek His will for my life. Hey – maybe I can give up control in small pieces. That would be nice, but it’s probably missing the point! This control freak has a lot to learn!

Scripture: James 4:13-15

Prayer: Lord, I am sorry for thinking that I can control anything in my life. I know I have been missing out on blessings that You would love to give me by not being open to Your plan. I want to let You be in charge of my life and follow Your will.