Squashing the “What Ifs”

I guess you could say that my daughter has had issues going to school. In kindergarten, she claimed she couldn’t find her classroom and frequently asked the principal or secretary for an escort. Thankfully they were accommodating!

In first grade she would go outside and stand in line for the bus. I stood in our entryway, eagerly awaiting what would happen next. Some days at the last possible second, she would turn around and run back to the house. When she got to the door and the bus pulled away, she would say, “I have a stomach ache.”

It was so frustrating! I didn’t want to make a sick child go to school, but I didn’t want to get “played” either! Her stomach aches didn’t usually amount to anything serious, so I’d end up driving her in to school.

Now she’s in third grade and she’s been having stomach aches again. For the past month, off and on, she’ll tell me her stomach and throat hurt and that she doesn’t want to go to school. At first I still made her go, but when her complaints were consistent for a few weeks, I started to wonder if something more serious was going on.

I took her to the doctor and she tested positive for strep throat. She took a round of antibiotics, but still there wasn’t much improvement. She was missing 2-3 days of school per week. The doctors did a mono test that came back negative. The situation was baffling me.

My mind started going down roads it should never travel. The “what ifs” started to run rampant through my mind and I started letting fear take control. One evening when anxiety was especially strong, the Lord brought Psalm 56:3 to mind, “When I am afraid, I will trust in you.” I repeated that verse over and over in my mind to help calm the “what ifs.”

The next day I saw a friend who shared that he had applied for a job and was waiting to hear the response. The company said they’d get back to him in a week. I asked him how he was doing and he replied, “It’s a chance for me to trust God for another week.”

Boy did I feel convicted! I could be viewing my daughter’s mysterious illness as a chance to trust God for another day, another week or another month. How often does God ask us to depend on Him? Do we view those times as opportunities to trust God for another week, day, year … sometimes another minute? Will we let the “what ifs” take over or will we trust in God?

Scripture: Psalm 56

Prayer: God, You are the one who has the best plan for our lives. Please forgive us for trying to take matters into our own hands. Please take our fear and anxiety and turn it into trust. We believe that You are sovereign, which means supreme in power and authority. We believe that You have plans to prosper us and not to harm us … plans to give us a hope and a future! We want to trust in You, not dwell on the “what ifs”!